Walking Lupin (Why Me?)
by YoungPadfoot
Summary: Snape is stuck with wolfy-duty... I guess you could say this either takes place in third year or fifth year.. Whatever turns you on... I swear, its really funny... I'm not responsible for wet computer chairs.. Enjoy!


Title: Walking Lupin (Why Me?)  
  
Author: YoungPadfoot  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Notes: Galahan and I were having creative streaks one day. Which is a cue that all of you should be hiding under your couch by now. We love Snape (Actually, only Galahan really LOVES him, I just think he's ok. * rolls eyes *) Hope you enjoy!  
  
Walking Lupin (Why Me?)  
  
Snape couldn't believe it. He never had imagined he would get stuck with this job, no matter how loyal he was to Dumbledore.  
  
Dumbledore had gotten the idea that Lupin felt confined when he would change into his werewolf form ( and it was VERY inconvenient when pent-up werewolves had to go to the bathroom).  
  
Now that Snape thought about it, it HAS to be pretty dull, being confined to a damp, drab office ( it had also obtained the name of being 'depressive', now that Lupin had stumbled upon old, forgotten Lockhart pictures). Still, why should Snape be stuck with doggy-duty (or wolfy- duty, whichever you prefer )? WHY?!?  
  
Lupin seemed to be enjoying it all though. Sniffing trees, chasing squirrels, peeing on Snape.. You know, the basic stuff a tame werewolf would do on an outing.  
  
On this particular night, Snape was feeling, how should we say, clever? For he had water-proofed (or rather wolfy-peed-proofed) his shoes and had managed to mend a hole in his robes that revealed to much leg then a dark, depressed, suicidal potions professor should show.  
  
But Lupin's spirt was not to be dampened. Snape, who was being full of himself, threw a stick, not expecting Lupin to ACTUALLY go after it. This gesture was only meant to taunt Lupin.  
  
But Lupin, being the prankster he is, bounded happily after the stick, dragging the depressed potions master through a tangled mess of spider webs (that showed up nicely on his robes of black). But then there were, oh no, its too horrible to say it.  
  
The Thorn Bushes. ( Cue Dramatic Music )  
  
Lupin finally stopped in a clearing after dragging Snape through yet another mud puddle. Snape shakily forced himself to stand up and looked himself over. His robes were, once again, ripped, covered in cob webs, prickly thorns, and other stuff that was too mutilated to find out what they had used to be. His greasy hair was coated with dirt, leaves, and woodchips. I guess you could say Snape got in touch with nature.  
  
Lupin sat, also looking over Snape. A wolfish grin ( No Pun Intended ) spread across his face. In his opinion, Snape's new outfit brought out his personality. Dirty, greasy, and incredibly unattractive.  
  
"Isn't it time to go home now?", Snape whined. He was getting cold, seeing that half his robes here torn off and scattered 'round the forest and that he was soaking wet.  
  
Lupin shook his head and smiled in a wolfish way. He padded over to Snape and lifted his leg, urinating on Snape's exposed leg. Snape groaned and began to drag Lupin back to the castle.  
  
Lupin decided tat since Snape had no sense of direction ( and no style sense, while we're on the subject ), he would take control of the situation and lead them home.  
  
Bounding into the night, Lupin dragged Snape through the knurled trees and dirt paths. But somewhere along the line, Lupin took a wrong turn, and they wound up facing a series of gullies.  
  
" I don't think this is Hogwarts" Snape said, walking over to the edge of one of the gullies and peering down. It was an LONG way down, and that water looked ice cold. The temperature of Potter's showers, Snape thought, smiling to himself.  
  
All of the sudden, the ground beneath Snape began to give away and Snape found himself, dangling for dear life, while Lupin ( who was incredibly strong for a werewolf ) sat at a safe distance and smiled down at Snape.  
  
Lupin could've easily pulled up Snape, but left him dangling there for a minute or two to show him who was REALLY in charge. During those few minutes, Snaped begged and pleaded ( and said a few 'Hail Marys', just in case ), until Lupin decided that Snape had had enough and pulled him up.  
  
As Lupin was 'helping' Snape get back over the side, he 'accidentally' bit our favorite potions master.  
  
A few more minutes were wasted while Snape ran around in circles, screaming, crying, and yelling dirty, naught words that virgin ears shouldn't hear.  
  
Snape finally wore himself out and walked solemnly back to the castle, Lupin prancing beside him happily, as if he had played a big, funny joke on Snape. No, Lupin's mood was more like as if the Queen of England had to give up her royal throne to the Osbornes.  
  
Dumbledore, who was waiting patiently for our adventurers to arrive, gasped in mock-shock ( and tried to suppress a giggle ) as Snape and Lupin appeared. Snape, who had enough, promptly handed the leash to Dumbledore and collapsed on the ground.  
  
Dumbledore bent down and whispered to Lupin, " Too bad the poor fellow doesn't know that tame werewolf bites have no affect.". Lupin nodded and gave a wink.  
  
*** A/N: Yes, you would be right, Dumbledore knows EVERYTHING.. Hope you enjoyed and hope you will be so kind as to click that little grey button and give me your opinion.. 


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